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The cornucopia of information one can look up on the internet is getting to be absurd, but the knowledge imparted even from the most unreliable source (which Wikipedia actually isn’t, much to the protests of my high school teachers) can usually yield exactly what you’re looking for. Like today when I was researching “A History of Streaking.” Did you know college streaking actually originated in Virginia!?
Yes, readers, I have sunk to a new level of depravity. And I have bludgeoned one of my biggest fears: public nudity with threat of arrest and the stigma of “sex offender” attached to every fiber of your being. Honestly, I am frequently shocked by what some people wear in general or how they act, and I so rarely do things that could potentially scar my reputation like this before. I have been so so worrisome about it, so much so that I feared I would not only not accomplish this on the 111 Things and fail at checking it off my life list. Yeah, it’s on there. My life list has very specific criteria when accomplishing tasks: state the date, place (if not obvious), and people involved. This morning I crossed off in pink ink: “3/17/2011: Jade and Joe (2 random dudes, and all my other friends watching. And the three cops).”
My 3 recommended P’s for streaking are: Practice, Pace, Plan. I only paced myself, but seeing as I was sick and had not practiced, I was still way too out of breath! Jade and I freakin took off but she burned me all the way and so did two random guys behind us. Then Joe came and sweetly ran with me until he tripped over himself and pulled me down with him going up a hill. I kissed Homer’s butt and made my way back, but I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that I was naked because as I got over the last crest I noticed the two policemen and the undercover cop (whom I had previously suspected!) on the East Lawn. They were giving me time to get dressed which I thought was weird, and as I hastily threw on inside out and backwards clothes I started getting more nervous and made a break for it towards the West side of the dome. Jade followed me and we hesitated for a while before going back. Unfortunately, the minute we decided to step out under the lit passageway the cops were right there so we ran and ran for GOOD. No phones, no purses, no shoes. Down into the darkness of Madbowl where we borrowed some guy’s phone to try and call Lauren who was too preoccupied to receive the call ;)
Jade and I walked back up to the Rotunda but didn’t want to reveal that we had no shoes, so we asked a sweet first year named Louise if she would find Joe and Lauren for us. After a while she came back and said that they weren’t there, but that the policemen still were. PLAN: Not knowing where to go with no shoes, we took roundabout sidestreets to the Venable apartments and thankfully found Lauren and Bryce at home… Molly had Jade’s things and Joe and Heather had gone hunting for me. Special thanks to Nick for driving me home and for Sipian for being AT home to let Joe in after he re-locked himself out.
I will never streak the Lawn again, but thank you so much for everything on St. Patty’s day… all of you from the Fishbowl and beyond!
"Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?" – David Niven
